I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
