i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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