Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
