Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
