Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
