God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
