she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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