You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
