So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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