I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
