I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
