Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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