Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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