Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
