She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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