Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
