omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
