Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
