i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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