Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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