Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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