Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
