Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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