Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
