I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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