i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
