If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
