we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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