But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
