He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
