boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How does one acquire holy water?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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