Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
