I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
