Whod you bang
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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