Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
