dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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