I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you win again, gameday.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize