i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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