He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so let's talk penis.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
