Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
