well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
