Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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