That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
