Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just high enough for therapy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize