Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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