you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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