when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
