how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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