There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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