you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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