dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
