I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
