I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
