she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
