Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We don't watch enough power rangers
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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