Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
