u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
