I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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