More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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