Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
