my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
